Sunday, December 6, 2020

Is There A Relationship Between Women Who Exercise At A Gym And Birds?

Is There A Relationship Between Women Who Exercise At A Gym And Birds?
In a previous article, I discussed how men who go to the gym could be classified as 1 of 4 different types of fish, a shark, a barracuda, a minnow, or a Pollock. Today, I am going to turn the tables and provide my thoughts as to how I view the ladies when they come to a gym. I could haven chosen fish again or mammals (or really just provided general observations, but what fun is that). I thought long and hard about what would logically make the most sense and provide the most "ah-ha" moments for my readers.

Over the years of frequenting my gym, if I were to describe the women that walk through the doors, I believe the best way to describe them is to compare them to birds. Birds are very graceful creatures and move with such elegance and precision that it would be hard not to see the similarities. Men are much more careless in their movements, arriving at the gym with the bravado that women generally don't feel the need to exude. Women are fully aware that, like it or not, from the moment they arrive their appearance will attract the attention of all who happen to glance their way. That is why their entrance and walk to the gym floor is precise. Birds know exactly where they will be traveling at all times. There is rarely a time where birds have not mapped out their path before they take off for flight, much like the women who go to the gym.

The first type is one of the more elusive creatures on earth, the women bodybuilder type. A species so foreign to most that when see her, we are often in awe. That is why I have categorized the first type of female gym patrons as the Philippine Eagle. The Philippine Eagle is the largest and most spectacular raptor in the world, a very distinctive species much more big and colorful than dull and small. What most people know about the Philippine Eagle is mainly what they have read about in magazines, for this creature is very rare and hard to locate in the wild. Much like the Philippine Eagle, can anyone actually say that they have seen a woman bodybuilder in her natural habitat and not on in a magazine or on the Internet?

The second type of women is the beautiful and captivating peacock. (Just a note, in my research, a "female" peacock is actually called a "peahen"). When many people think of a peacock, the first thing that comes to mind is the beautiful colors of this bird's feathers. I am sure you have noticed women who come to the gym in their full gala of make-up, stylish clothes, hair nicely coiffed. Much like the peacock, we don't really know, nor will we ever know, the reason these women display their beauty in such a fashionable and stylish way. Is it to attract mates? Or is it these birds have a need to display their beauty to satisfy their esteem issues of being the prettiest bird in the world.

The third type of bird is the roadrunner. The roadrunner is the cardio creature of the group, the true exercisers, whether it is on the treadmill, in the weight room, or on the stairmaster or elliptical. This bird moves from machine to machine much more quickly, deliberate, and jagged than the other birds. They are there for usually one purpose only, to complete their workout and move on. They are much more clever and smarter than they appear. If I were to ask you to picture a roadrunner right now, I am fairly confident you would have an image of The Roadrunner/Wile E. Coyote cartoons of the old days where the bird yells, "Beep, Beep" and jumps up in the air while the feet move back and forth much more quickly that physically possible. This is how I picture the women whom I consider to be roadrunners at the gym. The roadrunner is legendary for it's speed, it's unique appearance, and because it is one of the only birds fast enough to catch and even eat a rattlesnake. (If you haven't caught on yet, the rattlesnake in this scenario are the pickup artists at the gym).

The last type of gym-bird is the Red-billed Quelea, possibly the most abundant of all birds in the world. It prefers to fly in huge packs possibly because of the safety factor, but on some occasions it will travel alone. The Quelea is one of the most adaptable birds in the world. It can spend it's days flying for hours or it can spend it's day sitting on a branch foraging and watching the other animals live their lives. Although there can be quite a difference in the size and weight of each Quela, to the average male, the female's physical appearance looks quite similar. And although they are numerous, each female Quelea has it's own individual personality, displaying unique behavior to attract a male. It's not until till the male bird spends sometimes up to 3 to 4 days frolicking and "getting to know" the female, does the male realize that the female Quelea is unique in here own way. Once they find each other, they become mates for life.

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